The family we are born into is our first experience of being in a group. For a while, it is the only thing we know and it is natural to assume that the way in which family members function and interact will be similar in other groups. How we are attached to our parents (or primary caregivers) influences how we relate to others in the world. For example, if our home feels safe and secure, it is reasonable to expect the same to be true when we start school and we are free to develop in a healthy way. If the home environment is hostile and we feel insecure, why would we expect anything different when that is all we have known? How trusting is that person going to be of anyone with whom they entering a relationship in future?
Our attachment style continues to influence how we function in relationships into adulthood. If someone is noticing patterns of difficulty in relationships, it could be worth exploring how their earlier life experiences are affecting them in the present through counselling.
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